Gris Gris
The rock bit into my back, ripping the thin fabric of my dress. It was quickly followed by another and another. Tears streamed down my face, as I tried to run away from them as fast as I could. It was of little use. I couldn’t escape them. The three of them grabbed me by my long dark brown hair, pulling me to the ground. I curled into a tiny ball to avoid the flying fists and swift kicks they delivered to my back and sides. If I was small enough, I could detach myself from my body and float away from the pain. I lifted my eyes, to look at my attackers. The three of them towered over me, the glistening patent leather of their shoes, shining as they came down towards my body. Their brown faces twisted in hatred. I could almost feel the anger radiating off of their bodies, all of their energy focused on me.
As I braced for the imminent pain, I heard one of them give a small cry. I peeked through my fingers and saw one of the girls lying on the ground, cradling the die of her face. The other two backed away from me, going to retrieve their fallen comrade. My skin stung from the open scratches running along my face and arms. I opened up my eyes and looked to where they were all staring. A tall man with a wide brimmed hat had squared himself up across from the girls, his massive hands on his hips. His dark skin glistened in the afternoon sun light, his mouth set in a tight line.
“What do you think y’all are doing?”
The girls looked at each other and then at the ground.
“I said, what do y’all think you’re doing?” he asked again. The tone in his voice sounded dangerous.
Sheila, the one who has been on the ground and the leader of the group, looked the man in his face. Her short black hair had escaped from its plaits and a smudge of dirt lined her cheek. She looked at the man indignantly.
“We were trying to teach that yella heifer a lesson.” The other girls continued to look at the ground.
“Who told you that you could teach anyone anything?” He glared at the girls. Even Sheila had sense enough to look ashamed and she glanced away from the man.
“So what lesson were y’all trying to teach her?” He put his hands on hips and waited.
Sheila shifted on her feet and mumbled something under breath.
“What was that?”
“She thinks she betta than somebody. Always showing off. Don’t nobody care her daddy white. She ain’t special.” The last of Sheila’s tirade came out in a rush. Her hands were in tight fists at her sides and I could see her shake visibly in her rage.
“It don’t matter your reasons. You had no right. Now, get outta here before I teach y’all one.” He took one step towards them menacingly. The other two girls took off running down the dirt road. They stooped down to pick up their school books and continued running down the road. Sheila glared at both of us and backed away before running to join her friends.
“You alright?” he asked me. I didn’t answer. I was still on the ground in the fetal position, my arms still covering my head for protection. He came closer, his huge form towering over mine.
“You alright?” he repeated. I gave a small nod and started to move to stand. He stooped down, picked me up and set me on my feet. I felt sore in all the places where their feet had made contact with my body. I looked down at the ground, tears sliding slowly down my face. I could see the dirt and mud all over my clothes and my heart sank again. I knew I looked a mess and I would be in trouble for it later.
“Now why were they teaching you a lesson?” he asked. I looked up to the man. He was older, older than Mama, but only by a little bit. His face had faint lines around his eyes and his mouth, as if they were used to laughing. His size and his strength said that he was used to work.
“Because I told one of them I was going to see my daddy today.” The tears started again, running down my face, leaving clear paths through the dirt and blood that I sure was there.
“Why should they teach you a lesson because of your daddy?” he asked me.
I looked down at the ground again. “I don’t get to see him often. Today was special. It’s Mama’s birthday. She’s 28. I was going to wear this dress to dinner. He bought it for me.” I looked down again at the dress, tearing up again at the sight of the torn lace and fabric in disarray.
“That ain’t no reason to teach nobody a lesson,” he said. “What’s your name?”
“Marie,” I replied.
“Well Marie,” he said. I know a lady that can help you. She lives over the next hill. She can fix your dress and tend to your scratches.”
I shifted in my stance. I knew I needed to fix the dress or Mama would be mad, but I also knew not to go with strangers.
Seeing my indecision, he offered his hand. “Jediah Colter. You can call me Jediah.”
I took his hand and shook it. His smile seemed sincere and he had just saved me from those girls. I needed to fix my dress and he said he knew how to get it done. So, reluctantly, I went with him.
It was a warm afternoon, but there was a slight breeze that toyed with the grasses that grew up on the sides of the country lane. Sunlight filtered through the trees, the shadows playing on the ground in front of me. There was the strong scent of magnolia blossoms in the air, sweet yet slightly spicy. If I had reached, I could have touched the soft, snowy white petals. The sight and smells of these things usually put joy in my heart but instead it was filled with fear of what my mother would do.
All along the way, Jediah asked me questions about myself, probably to take my mind off of meeting the woman. He asked me all about school and about myself. I was good at school, top of my fourth grade class. With Mama at work so much, there was usually nothing to do but read.
“What books do you like to read?” he asked.
“Mostly fairy tales and magic stories. I love stories with princesses, fairy godmothers and wicked witches. My Daddy gave me a book of them for my birthday last year. Cinderella and Snow White are my favorites. I read them all the time,” I said.
“When is your birthday,” he asked.
“June 23rd, 1926. I’ll be ten in a month.” I responded. He started a little when I said this.
“What day did you say?” he asked.
“June 23rd.” I replied again. He nodded his head again, as if in confirmation and kept walking.
“What’s your mama’s name?” he asked.
“Marguerite Darcantrel,” I said.
“Marguerite…Where does she work?” he asked.
“She works downtown, cleaning people’s houses.” I looked down at this. I was happy Mama had a job. A lot of people had lost theirs when the banks failed, but Mama was still able to keep cleaning for the rich white people downtown. I wish she could have had a better job, like a teacher or a nurse, something more respectable.
“Who is this lady?” I asked Jediah, trying to change the subject.
“Her name is Miss Viela. She’s an old woman. She knows a lot about a lot of things. She’ll be able to help,” he said.
We walked a little further. “How do you know her?” I asked.
He slowed slightly but continued walking. He looked over at me. The dancing light that filtered through the trees cast strange shadows on his face, making his eyes disappear. “She saved my life,” he said simply. He continued walking in silence, as if deep in thought.
We walked down the road and turned into a little path. I would have kept walking right by if Jediah had not stopped me. The entrance was partially obscured by two large willow trees that almost acted like curtains. The path was neat and clean, without a single blade of grass. The sides of the road had a kind of managed wildness about them, as if it were barely being restrained by someone’s constant efforts.
We walked down the little path. At the end of it was a tidy little cabin, with thin puffs of smoke coming from the chimney. It looked like something out of one of my picture books. There was a vegetable garden off to the side. I could recognize watermelons, collards and beans, but there were a lot of other things growing there that I had never seen before. The ground was soft and spongy and I could see a small pond near the back of the cabin.
Jediah knocked on the door and waited. I stood slightly behind him, with my hands clasped in front of me. I focused all my attention on the backs of his shoes. I heard the door open and a new pair of feet came into view. The feet were bare but perfectly clean. They were partially obscured by a long black skirt that had bright glittering swirls and animal shapes. The little sequins caught the light as she moved, shining like diamonds. I had only seen sequins like this one time before, when a famous singer came to downtown New Orleans
Jediah spoke to her quickly and quietly in another language. It sounded like French, but it was so fast I couldn’t really tell. Daddy taught me some French whenever he came to visit, but I could only really speak a word or two.
The two of them stopped talking and I could feel them looking at me. The old woman held my chin and lifted it until I met her eyes. They were a pale blue, almost clear in appearance. They seemed out of place in the dark brown wrinkles of her face. She studied me, as if searching for something in my expression. She sighed, and nodded her head. “She’ll do,” she said. “You can go, but come back in an hour so you can walk her home.
Jediah nodded to her, tipped his head towards me and turned to go back down the path. I was left alone with this old woman. I began to feel nervous again and was thinking that this wasn’t a good idea.
The old woman stepped away from the door and receded within the shadows of the little cabin. While the sun was bright outside, the light was dim within. I took a step inside. It was one large room with the bed against the far wall and a large table dominating the rest of the room. The walls of the cabin were wood and were bare except for the shelves that lined the walls. Brightly colored rugs covered the wooden floor. They were all different patterns but they all had similar swirl and animal designs, just like the old woman’s skirts.
“Shut the door behind you,” she said. I shut it as quickly and as quietly as I could.
“Take off your dress and lay it on that chair.” She indicated to a rickety looking green chair in the corner. I went to the corner and turned my back to her. I took off the torn and dirty dress and laid it neatly over the back of the chair. I stood in my slip, shivering not from cold, but from nervousness.
“Get that box off of the top shelf and go over by the bed.” She had her back turned to me. She was over by the large table mashing something into a paste. The table had deep scars from years of use and thousands of tiny scratches. I looked at the shelves lining the walls. There seemed to be dozens of little boxes, all labeled with small spidery handwriting. There were so many different shapes and sizes. Some were covered in dust and others looked brand new. I didn’t know which one she wanted.
“Which one?” I asked.
“The red one,” she replied, still not turning to face me.
There was only one red box. It was the largest and had a picture of a black snake on the front. It looked scary. The snake was coiled tight and looked like it was ready to strike. I didn’t want to touch it but she had told me to get it. I looked around for something to stand on. There was a little step stool in the corner, so I dragged it over to the shelves. The box was heavy. I almost lost my balance just trying to get it off the shelf. I hopped down from the stool and placed the large box on the bed and stood next to it, awaiting further instructions.
The old lady ignored me. She just kept mashing the paste and adding bits from little jars in the center of the table. In went little pieces of leaves, something that looked like sand, and a couple of drops of orange oil. She mashed it together one final time. She held her hand over the mixture, bent her head slightly, and kept her eyes tightly shut. I could see her mouth moving a bit, but was too far away to hear the words that she whispered. She then raised her head and looked at me. Her clear eyes burned into me.
“What is your name child?” She asked.
“Marie Darcantrel,” I answered, fingering my slip.
“Darcantrel…your mother is Marguerite?” she asked.
I was a little surprised she knew this. I knew she had talked to Jediah for only a moment and I hadn’t heard anything remotely like my mother’s name mentioned.
“Yes, she is,” I replied.
“Then why did you lie to me?” she asked.
I stared at her in confusion. I didn’t know what she was talking about.
“Lie about what?” I asked.
“Your name. You are not a Darcantrel. You are a Lagroue. Charles is your father.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement.
“He is my father, but that is not my name,” I replied.
She lifted her eyebrows at this and said nothing else. She stood and walked over to me. The small dish was filled with the paste and had little flecks of green and orange through out.
“Hold your arms out,” she instructed. I did as I was told and she started to put the cream on all of my scratches and bruises. The paste was soothing and had a fragrant scent. It smelled of fresh mint and roses. I feel my eyes begin to get heavy under her hands. It seemed as if I only closed them for a second before I succumbed to the darkness of sleep.
I awoke to the sounds of cooking. The old woman was frying some eggs on her stove. I felt warm and contented until I realized what I supposed to be doing. Fear dropped like a stone into the bottom of my stomach. I jumped up, looking for any indication of the time. I saw no clocks and the light inside of the room had not changed much.
“Miss Viela?”
She didn’t stop what she was doing but she seemed to slow enough that I could tell she was listening.
“What time is it? I have to be home.”
“Relax, child. You have been asleep for less than an hour, nothing more.”
I was confused. It had felt like the refreshing sleep that comes after hours, and certainly not after a few minutes.
“Well…what about my dress?”
“It is where you left it.” She continued to cook.
I had seen the dress but it was in the exact same position. It didn’t look like it had been moved. I went closer to it and saw that the dress was in fact clean, and that all the stains and rips were gone. I couldn’t believe that she had repaired it so quickly.
There was a knock at the door. Miss Viela went to the door and opened it. Jediah stepped in and tipped his hat towards Miss Viela.
“I’m here to take her home,” he said.
“I know that. I told you to,” Miss Viela snapped. “Wait outside until she comes out.” Jediah went back through the door.
“Now, I want you to come back every day after school. Jediah will take you home after that.”
“But…what about my mom…” I started. She held up her hand to stop me.
“Everything will work itself out. Just come back here tomorrow. Now get dressed.”
I heeded her words and got dressed. The dress looked just like it did when Daddy brought it home. I looked in the mirror that hung over the dresser, looking for the scratches I was sure that would be there. I looked and looked but didn’t see anything. The paste that Miss Viela had made must have stopped the bleeding. I smoothed back my unruly hair and wiped the sleep from my hazel eyes. I tried to put myself back in some kind of order.
While I was dressing, she went over to the bed and picked up the red box with the snake on the cover. She opened it and dug through it. It was much deeper than it seemed and had a lot of different things in it. She found what she wanted and withdrew a gray silk pouch. It was about an inch wide and had bulges from its contents. She held it out to show me.
“This is a gris gris. It will protect you from the ill will of others.” I reached for it but she withdrew it, inches from my fingers. “It is not complete. I need a small bit of hair so that it will fully protect you. This will not harm you. Do you trust me?” She looked me fully in the eyes.
I looked at the ground, thinking. I twisted my long curly hair around my finger. I debated a bit before I finally held it out to her. I was intrigued by the old lady, even though she scared me a bit. She reached into the basket by the chair and pulled out some old heavy shears. She gingerly cut off an inch of hair, divided it into two sections and placed one inside of the little pouch. I never did see where she put the other section of hair.
She deftly tied it around my neck. The bag was soft next to my skin and gave off a fragrant odor, like wood shavings and pine needles. “Now, wear this at all times and remember to come back here tomorrow. Now hurry, Jediah is waiting for you.”
She gently shooed me to the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” With that, she closed the door. I stood there blinking in the bright sunshine. Jediah stood in the shade of one of the willow trees by the pond, slowing skipping stones across its glassy surface. He had a distant look about him, as if he were somewhere. I reached up and shook his sleeve. He turned and looked down at me, a small smile on his face.
“You ready?” he asked.
I nodded my head in agreement. We began the trip back down the shadowy lane. We walked in silence. I thought about what had happened in the cabin. I wasn’t really that sure what had taken place. I was even more unsure of what was coming next. It was as if some big decision had been made for me, something that would affect me the rest of my life.
Jediah walked me all the way to my house. By this time, it was late afternoon and the sun had begun its slow descent over the horizon. There were other houses surrounding ours, but no one was outside. All that could be heard was the twittering of birds and the flutter of garments on the clothes line.
Our house was one of the nicest ones around. It was a small, little house with dark green shutters and a green tin roof, tucked away from the other houses. My favorite part was the wraparound porch with the wide oak swing. I spent hours on that swing, reading my fairy tales. Mama kept the yard up and grew all sorts of flowers. Day lilies, azaleas and purple irises lined the sides of the house and a large magnolia tree took up most of the yard. Mama always threatened to have it cut down because of all the leaves it dropped but I knew she would never do it. The tree provided shade in the summer heat and I also knew she loved the flowers too much to cut it down.
As we approached, my little black dog, Maxine, ran to greet me. She barked and twirled and stood on her hind legs. I enjoyed her antics. I felt like life was normal again. As I petted her, I felt her stiffen slightly. She sniffed cautiously at Jediah. She whined and backed away from him. It was strange because she was usually very friendly. I bent to pet her and pushed her back towards the house. She whined again and put her tail between her legs. She gave one last look at Jediah and ran back to the house.
“I’ll meet you at the fork in the road like today. All right?” Jediah looked down at me again. I nodded and went to the house. It was time to get ready for dinner.
“Where’s my little duck?” I ran to his booming voice. He grabbed me up and swung me around the room. His green eyes glistened in the dim light of the room, his hair a dark shadow. Mama was in the dining room, setting up for dinner. She had laid out the best china and had poured wine for her and daddy. I could hear the soft rustle of her skirts as she moved. She wore a long green dress that complimented her golden complexion. She had done her hair and painted her nails a bright red. She looked so beautiful in the soft light.
Daddy spun me around the room again. “I like that dress on you, where did you get that?” he asked me.
I laughed. “From you, Daddy,” I said.
“You did?” he laughed. “Well, I must have good taste.” He swirled me around one more time for good measure. I was glad Miss Viela had been able to fix it. Mama hadn’t noticed anything.
“How long you staying Daddy?”I asked him.
He squinted at me. “How long do you want me to stay?” he asked, his green eyes twinkling.
“Forever and a day,” I declared. He laughed. He raised me up and tickled me. It was like being miles off the ground. His big strong frame was there to protect me from falling. It was always fun when he was around. He filled the house with laughter and light.
“I’ll be here till you go to sleep,” he promised.
Mama had made chicken, black eyed peas and collard greens. It was my favorite. The conversation was light and fun. Daddy made his jokes and teased Mama. It was only with him that she fully relaxed. Her honey skin glowed from his attention and her curly reddish brown hair bounced with her laughter. She was beautiful. Men were always looking her but she paid them no attention. She only loved Daddy.
Daddy loved to tell the story of how they met. It was a long time ago, when she was only 17 and he was 25. She was working as a maid for his parents when he came home on family business. He said imagine his surprise to walk into his childhood home and see and angel standing before him. Mama said that he had hounded her until she would agree to go on a walk with him. He claimed it was love at first sight. Mama always smiled when he said this. She always smiled when he was around.
After dinner, Daddy gave Mama her birthday present. He told her to close her eyes and hold out her hands. After she did so, he reached into his jacket pocket and revealed a small box. Mama opened her eyes and started at the sight of the small box. She smiled at him, opened the box, and gasped at the sight. I leaned closer and peeked to see what it was. It was a silver locket, with filigree and roses on the outside of it. She opened the tiny clasp and inside was a picture of Daddy and me. When she looked up, I could see the tears in her eyes. She reached and hugged him tightly, as if never wanting to let him go.
After the present, it was time for me to go to bed. I went to my room, a tiny space that overlooked the back garden. There was just enough room for a bed and a dresser and a small chest for my toys. The moonlight lit the little room, and I needed no light to get ready for bed. I got under the covers and waited for daddy to kiss me good night. He came a little while later when I was almost asleep. Mama stood in the doorway, watching us both.
He leaned and kissed me on the forehead, brushing the curls from my face.
“Good night little duck,” he whispered. He stood and walked back over to Mama and kissed her softly on the cheek. They moved and shut my door, leaving me to the world of sleep. I grasped the tiny sachet and held it close to my heart and started to fall asleep. I could still hear them talking and laughing in the other room, as if they didn’t have a care in the world. All the while, I knew that it would soon be time for him to leave.
I knew that Daddy had another family. A wife and two girls. They were older than me. I saw them once when we went into town. Me and Mama went to the Mardi Gras celebration last year. It was the only bit of fun that we had that year. With a lot of people out of work, it was the only bright spot to look forward too. We stood off to the side of the parade, in an alley, so we wouldn’t get trampled or harassed in any way. We had settled in to get a good spot so that we could see all of the floats drive by. There were so many colors and big costumes. There was one float with the women from the Works Progress Administration. They helped collect clothes and meals for the poor. Mama’s breath hitched when she saw the float. I turned to look at what she was staring at. All I could see were a bunch of white women, standing on the float. Near the front, there were two blonde girls, dressed alike, in blue dresses. They were standing next to a woman that looked just like them. They were smiling and throwing pennies and candy on the street. There were both children and adults fighting over the money and the tiny sweets.
“Those are your sisters,” Mama whispered. I barely heard her over the sounds of the band and the noise of the crowd.
I looked again in confusion. I didn’t understand. It was only me, Mama and Daddy. I didn’t have any sisters.
“What do you mean?” I asked her. She didn’t respond. She just kept looking at them until long after the float had passed by. I was still confused. We didn’t look anything alike. They looked more like their mama, with her blond hair and blue eyes. They couldn’t be my sisters.
As I got older, I came to realize that daddy did have another family. He didn’t talk about them when he was with us, but we all knew that he would return to them when the night was through. That meant that all time spent with him was special, little stolen moments for us to share, for however long we were able.
Jediah was waiting by the fork in the road, almost exactly were the fight was yesterday.
“You had a better day in class today?” he asked.
I nodded and we started on our walk to Miss Viela’s house. He asked me about my day and what I had learned in school. I chattered away about math and the new story we learned in school. He listened attentively, not saying very much. I quieted as we came to the path that led to Miss Viela’s house. The little path seemed solemn, the noise of the world quieted somehow. We walked down the path to her house and once again, Jediah knocked on the door. Miss Viela opened the door and nodded to us both. She spoke briefly with Jediah in that language and dismissed him with a wave of her hand. She drew me in and shut the door.
“Where is your gris gris?” she asked me.
I pulled it from beneath my dress and showed it to her.
“Have you shown anyone else this?” she asked, her eyes burning into me.
“No.”
“Good,” she replied. She studied my face. “Do you know why you are here?” she asked.
I shook my head.
“I need an assistant. I am old and I need someone to help me and carry on my work,” she said.
“What type of work do you do?” I asked.
She paused, thinking about her answer. “I am a medicine woman,” she said carefully. “I help people. They come from miles away to receive my help. Sometimes they are sick in body, sometimes they are sick in mind, and sometimes they are sick in heart.”
“How do you help them?” I asked. “How do you help someone sick in heart? Is it like when my neighbor Mr. Penn had heart palpitations?
She laughed. “No child. Sick from love.”
I was still confused but didn’t ask anymore questions because I didn’t like her laughing at me. Her laugh was old and dry, and slightly mean. It didn’t sound natural coming from her.
“I will instruct you,” she said, “In the ways of the medicine woman. You must be here everyday after school and I will teach you. In reward, I will pay something for your trouble as well.”
My ears perked up at this. There were grown people without jobs, and here I could make money to help Mama. I still had my doubts. “What will I tell Mama?” I asked.
“Jediah will talk with her, never you mind. Now,” she clapped her hands sharply, “Let us begin.”
The first lesson consisted of her teaching me her labeling process. She merely showed me the things in the boxes and said the names for me to repeat. Some were normal, like sunflower seeds and herbs, but there were other things I had never heard of like monkshood and moonseed. The monkshood looked like dark purple bits of cut up roots and the moonseed was dark red and reminded me of wild grapes. She told me it would be my job to go and retrieve some of these things from the local swamp. I was a bit nervous at this, as it was dead easy to become lost in the swampland and not be seen for days.
After the plant lesson, we went outside into the bright sunshine. She showed me her garden and the herbs and roots that she grew there.
“That will be all for today,” she said. “Jediah will be waiting for you at the end of the path. I will see you tomorrow.” She turned and walked back to the house. She was surprisingly swift for someone of her advanced age. She wore another one of her long dresses, which swished and swirled around her as she walked. I gathered my school things and went to meet Jediah.
That is how it went for the next few weeks. She would teach me about herbs and plants and show me their uses. A lot of the things she said sounded like things from my fairytales. She once held out a tiny leaf and said, “This has the power to kill 20 grown men.” She then held up another sprig of green with purple flowers and said, “This has the power to bend people to your will.” She was often saying things like that when speaking of the plants. I didn’t know whether to believe her or if she was making fun of me. The look in her eyes told me she was dead serious. I simply listened when she told me things and stored them away in my mind for future reference.
Once school was out, I began to spend entire days with her. Mama was often away at work and I beat her home most nights. She never questioned where I had been, just took the money I gave her and put it up in my savings jar. We would eat dinner and she would tell me about her day and about the stories and the gossip that she had heard. Working in white people’s houses, she knew all of their business. One of her bosses, Mr. Hodges was having an affair with the minister’s wife and everyone knew but the minister. Another lady she worked for stole from the people who came over her house. Mama said she would take pennies and buttons and hide them away in her room upstairs. The lady had a whole room of other people’s things. Mama said people would ask her about the items and the lady would help them look, knowing all the while the missing items were upstairs. I would listen and laugh at the stories. After dinner, I would read my fairytale book or practice what Miss Viela had told me in my head. Mama would listen to the radio and knit. There was talk of problems in far off countries like Germany
Daddy did not come over much in the beginning of that summer. Mama said his business wasn’t doing well and he was having problems. He had fields and sold his things in a store in downtown New Orleans
One day, a few days before my tenth birthday, I met one of the people that Miss Viela helped. Jediah dropped me off as usual, but when Miss Viela opened the door, I could see she was not alone. Sitting at her table was a white woman with blonde hair. I couldn’t see her face, only the back of her head and her stooped shoulders.
I walked in cautiously. I had never met anyone that Miss Viela had helped before. She said they usually came at night, long after I left. She said that Jediah brought them to her. He helped people find her and her find them. He appeared to be her only link to the outside world and always seemed available. It was hard to find the entrance to the pathway that led to her house. I had tried to find it on my own but I could never find it. Sometimes, when I would meet Jediah, I would try to focus on the path and look for markers so I could find my way there on my own. Somehow, I would always forget, instead answering his questions and listening to his jokes, forgetting all about my task.
Miss Viela closed the door and went to sit in front of the lady. As she passed by me, she said casually to the woman, “This is my assistant Marie. She will be helping us with this process.”
I rounded the table and went to shake the lady’s hand. When I saw her face, I froze with shock. I had seen those blue eyes before. It was Daddy’s wife. I felt fear clutch at my stomach. Luckily, she was not focusing on me. She sat staring at her hands in her lap, a muscle twitching in her cheek. She merely nodded her head in my direction, distractedly.
“Why have you come to see me today?” asked Miss Viela, beginning the interview.
Daddy’s wife looked at her hands, twisting her kerchief. Her bright blue eyes were rimmed with red.
“I think my husband is having an affair,” she said, calmly. She sounded calm but I could hear the anger in her voice.
I flinched at this. I had moved off to her side, so I could still watch her face and her reactions. My heart was beating in my throat. I felt like they could hear it in the still of the room.
“Now, why you say that?” Miss Viela asked her.
“He’s been distant lately. He has been stressed because the business is failing. I just don’t know. He’s just been different lately. I suspect there is another woman.” She stopped, rubbed her eyes and twisted the kerchief some more.
“What do you want me to do about it?” asked Miss Viela.
“I’m not sure exactly…what can you do?” asked Daddy’s wife.
“It depends… do you want to keep him or punish him,” asked Miss Viela.
My head snapped in her direction at that. Miss Viela saw the movement and motioned for me to remain silent. I held my breath as I awaited his wife’s response.
“I want him back. But he shouldn’t go unpunished. She looked Miss Viela directly in the face. “What can you do?”
Miss Viela looked at her. “Wait here,” she said to her. She motioned to me and drew me outside.
“What do you want me to do?” she asked.
I was surprised. I didn’t think I had a say in the matter.
“I don’t want you to hurt him. We need him,” I said. I tried to imagine what life would be like without him. “If anything, I want you to let us have him.” She looked at me again with those clear eyes and nodded.
“Stay out here,” she said. With that, she turned and walked back into the house and shut the door. I leaned against the side of the cabin and waited. I was terrified that something bad would happen, either to him or his relationship with us.
An hour later, the cabin door opened. Daddy’s wife stepped into the bright sunshine looking visibly relieved. At that same time, Jediah came walking around the bend. He tipped his hat to Daddy’s wife and gave her wide berth. He walked in front and she trailed him, trying not to get too close.
As soon as they turned the corner, I ran back into the house. Miss Viela was sitting in her usual spot at the table, surrounded by bottles and jars of plants and oils. I tried to identify some of the plants so that I could have some idea of what she was making, but her fingers moved too fast for me to see which ingredients she was using.
“What was decided?” I asked her. “You’re not gonna hurt him are you?”
She just kept doing what she was doing. “Hush, child. You will see in time,” was all that she said. I wondered what she meant with this. I just prayed that he would be fine and everything would work out. Jediah knocked on the door and nodded at Miss Viela.
“Time to go,” he said to me.
“How did Miss Viela save your life?” I asked him. We were almost to my house. He stopped walking and looked around, as if someone else was walking down the marshy lane and would overhear.
“Why do you want to know?” he asked.
“I want to know because if she saved you, she must be a good person. And a good person wouldn’t hurt my daddy,” I said.
He sighed. “It’s not that easy, sometimes, it’s complicated.” He motioned over to a little grove of grass, under the shade of a live oak tree. We sat and he began to tell me a story.
“A while ago,” he began. “I was working as a sharecropper not to far from here. It was hard work, long days and little money and always in debt. I couldn’t ever get ahead. The man whose land I worked was a mean one. He gave us useless tools and charged us when they broke. He overcharged for everything and didn’t give people their fair share. I had it easier than others because it was just me. There were other families with five or six kids that were basically starving. I decided to do something about it. I went up to his house to ask for our fair share, but he wasn’t home. Only his wife was home.” With this, his face grew darker, as if he was feeling some internal torment. “She invited me in. I should have known then that something was wrong,” he said, almost to himself. “She told me to sit down and wait for him in the kitchen. She gave me lemonade and cookies, as if I was a small child. She listened to what I had to say and she agreed with me that it wasn’t right. She said she would talk to her husband, and then I left.”
“Okay, so then what happened?” I asked him.
He sighed, closed his eyes and continued. “Someone saw me go into the house and knew that the man wasn’t there. They told him and he got mad. He asked his wife what had happened, and she tried to tell him, but he wouldn’t listen. He called up some of his friends and came looking for me.”
I sat in silence at the telling of his story. I didn’t know how to react to the story. I knew that when white men went looking for a Black man, it wasn’t good.
“They found me, drug me out of my cabin and took me into the woods. I was terrified. They accused me of ugly things and said I deserved to be punished for it. Somebody went to their car and pulled out a rope. They tossed it high, until it caught on a tree branch that was thick enough to support my weight. I struggled and I fought and they laughed at my efforts. They beat me until I could barely move. When they were done, they put the noose around my neck and hoisted me in the air. My neck didn’t break so they watched me with my feet dangling, me trying to breathe.”
He stopped. There were no other noises but the sound of wind blowing through the trees. I shivered at the thought. I couldn’t imagine how terrifying it was to be in that situation.
“I felt real cold. I was holding on with all of my might, but I couldn’t hold on forever. Everything started getting really dark. I thought about my family, my house and my possessions. I thought about everything I would miss about life. The darkness then took me and I died.
I was stunned at his last comment. “What do you mean you died?” I asked him.
He shrugged his shoulders and said, “I died that night.”
“But you’re alive now?” I said, stating the obvious.
“Miss Viela,” he said. “She brought me back. Surely you understand she has power by now.”
“But…how?” I was dumbfounded. “How did she bring you back?”
He shook his head, “I don’t know exactly. I only know what she told me. She was collecting moonseed and she came upon my body. I had been dead for maybe an hour. She cut me down and she brought me back.”
But...how?” I stated again.
“She performed one of her rituals over me. She brought me back and I have been with her ever since. I help her. I figure it’s the least I could do.”
He stood up, the conversation apparently over. He walked me back to my house and tipped his hat towards me. I stood in the door way and watched him walk away, unsure if he was real or a ghost. I sank down onto the porch, holding my knees, Maxine yipping at my feet. If what Jediah said was true, Miss Viela was powerful. I just hoped and prayed that it wouldn’t be used to hurt Daddy.
At seven o’clock, we sat down to wait for his arrival. The radio was on, and we listened to the news and the jazz programs that came on. I read while Mama knitted in her rocking chair. It was hard to focus on the words of the book, my ears straining for the sounds of his footsteps. But the sounds never came.
At nine o’clock, Mama gave up looking. She shut off the radio and sat in her chair. I tried not to make a sound.
“It’s time for bed,” she said. She stood up and walked into the kitchen. I could hear the sounds of her putting away the dinner she had just made. I got up and put my book away. As I was going to my room, I peeked into the kitchen to see what she was doing. She was standing by the sink, looking out the window with a worried expression on her face. She fingered the locket in her right hand, her left hand resting on her belly. I backed away slowly and went into my room.
After I put on my dressing gown, I knelt to say my prayers. I prayed for Daddy’s safety, for Mama’s happiness, and that Miss Viela wouldn’t do anything to hurt Daddy. As I crept into bed, I felt something soft move against my flat chest. It was the gris gris. I held it and prayed it was powerful enough to keep my whole family safe.
The next day, I went back to Miss Viela’s house. I was afraid of her now, but I even more terrified that if I didn’t go back, she would do something to Daddy. Jediah picked me up from the house as usual and we walked to the path at her house. We didn’t speak much, the conversation from yesterday still lingering in our minds. When we arrived to the door, he tipped his hat to me and walked back down the path. His quietness and constant coming and going made him even more ghostlike in my mind. At the sound of the door opening, I silenced my thoughts so that I could focus on Miss Viela. The house looked normal, but something felt off. After opening the door, Miss Viela went back to her usual spot at her table and continued to mix oils. I watched Miss Viela closely. She acted as if yesterday had never happened. She gave me assignments and chores as usual.
That day, she made me chop up roots and wash bottles for her oils. I went out and collected plants from her garden and fed the chickens that she kept in the back of the house. They were beautiful birds, and I had never seen anything like them. They didn’t look like the normal chickens that lived at the house next door. They were a snowy white all over with bright wattles under their necks. They scattered as I fed them, clinging to one corner of the fence. They always did this, as if afraid of humans.
It was late afternoon after I had finished all of my chores and I went back into the house. Miss Viela was sitting in the same spot, but the table was clear of all the usual bottles and plant clippings. She gestured to the seat across from her. I walked and sat down, my heart pounding in my chest.
“Give me your hand,” she said. I held up my right palm and she grasped it firmly. There was surprising strength in her hands, though they looked brown and gnarled like the roots of the magnolia tree. “You will be something,” she said. She was looking at my hand if searching for something. “There is a life force that I see in you that has you destined for great things. But only if you let it happen.” She looked at me when she said this, her clear eyes were disconcerting. “I will help you to this, but only if you let me.” I looked at her and nodded. I didn’t trust her but I was still worried about Daddy and making her mad. I would have agreed to anything she said.
“Now, I have set up a challenge for you. You have the tools you need. If you succeed, there will be great reward. If you fail, there will be consequences. You have the power to control your own destiny,” she said.
“What is it?” I asked.
“You will see in time. Just be ready and alert and you will do fine. Just remember the basic things I have taught you,” she said. With that, she stood and opened the door. Jediah was waiting for me outside.
When I came home, Mama sat rocking in her chair. It was strange for her to be there so early, I always beat her home. She sat, looking off into the corner, a tense expression on her face. Her hair looked a little bedraggled and her eyes were red like when she cut up onions. She had been crying, I realized. I had never seen my Mama cry. She was my rock, my protector. I knew something was wrong.
“Mama? What is it?” I asked.
She looked over, as if noticing me for the first time. I watched her throat go up and down as she swallowed. “It’s your daddy,” she said.
I felt a tight constriction in my chest and a pounding in my ears. It was my worst fears come true, Miss Viela had done something to hurt my daddy. If Mama had been crying, something terrible must have happened.
“I just got word. He’s sick,” she continued.
“How sick?” I asked.
“Very very sick. Martha stopped by and told me on her way home,” she said.
My thoughts were racing. Martha was Mama’s best friend and worked as a maid in the house next to Daddy’s. It must be bad if the neighbors knew and were talking about Daddy’s illness. As I was thinking this, a thought flew into my head. What if this was the task I was supposed to complete. I was supposed to help my Daddy. Before I knew it, I was out the door. I could hear Mama calling after me, but I knew what I had to do.
I knew where Daddy lived. It wasn’t far from our house, maybe two miles down the road. It was a big colonial style house surrounded by fields. I ran past the rows of houses, people calling out greetings as I went past. I ignored them all. I just focused on getting to my destination. I could feel my blood rushing and the sound of my shoes pounding down the road. As I neared the edges of his fields, I could see his house in the distance. I sped up, ignoring the pain just wanting to get near to him. When I got to the lane that turned to his house, I slowed. I had to take care not to be seen as his wife had just seen me the day before. I don’t know if she had paid attention to me, but I couldn’t take that risk. I crept swiftly from tree to tree until I was near the porch of the house. By this time, it was completely black outside. I could hear the cicadas making their racket in the trees and the sounds of the crickets at my feet. It was warm out and sweat trickled down my face. I took some deep breaths to calm myself and went to look for him.
I had known which house was his but I didn’t know which room. I circled the house, looking for it. As I rounded the corner, I saw directly into the family room. I could see his wife and the two girls sitting in a family room. The girls looked sad and unsure of themselves, as if they didn’t know what to do. His wife had a slightly different expression, as if her sadness wasn’t entirely true. They were listening to a man in a white coat. As I looked closer I could see that it was Dr. Blanchard. Dr. Blanchard treated both blacks and whites. I remembered him from when he treated my mother a year ago. I didn’t know what had been wrong with her; I was only told it was womanly problems. If Dr. Blanchard was there, then it must have been bad.
I moved away from the window before I could be seen and continued my search. I was lucky they were all together; it would be easier for me to look around. I could see only one window light on upstairs. I decided that this must have been Daddy’s room. Luckily, there was a trellis near the window. I tested it with my foot, to see if it would hold my weight. It gave a little but, it seemed like it would hold me. I quickly started climbing. The morning glory that grew on the trellis made it hard for me to find my footing. I slipped and almost fell as I reached the top. The juice from the broken flowers made my hands slick and made it hard to hold on. At the top, I had to stretch to reach the windowsill. I peered in and saw Daddy lying in bed. He looked horrible. He was lying on his back and I could see his labored breathing. The sheets looked wet from his sweat and I could see the movement of his eyes underneath his eye lids, as if he were having a nightmare. I gingerly knocked on the window, trying not to make too much noise. His head stirred at the sound but he didn’t wake up. I knocked again, a little harder and I saw his eyes flutter. He turned his head to face me. He looked at me with confusion, as if he could not believe I was there. At this point I was clinging to the windowsill, balanced precariously on the top of the trellis. I tried to lift the window up but I couldn’t. I pointed to the latch and motioned for him to get it. He nodded and struggled to get out of bed. I wished for him to hurry because I knew that they would be back at any time. He got out of the bed and moved to the window. Each movement seemed to take so much effort. It was terrible seeing him like that.
He finally made it to the window. It seemed to take all of his strength but he opened it and pulled me inside. I quickly got to my feet and pushed him back towards the bed. He collapsed in a heap, covered in new sweat. I quickly untied the gris gris from my neck. I remembered what Miss Viela had said about protection. I opened it and pulled my hair from inside of it.
“Where are some scissors?” I whispered.
He nodded to the bureau beside the bed. I opened a drawer and quickly retrieved the scissors. I clipped a lock of his hair and put it inside the bag.
“This will protect you. Hide it from them but keep it with you,” I said. He didn’t say anything. He simply looked at me and nodded his head. I don’t know if understood, but I hoped he did. I hugged him fiercely and kissed him on the forehead. He was burning up.
I lifted the edges of window and was lowering myself back onto the trellis when I heard voices coming closer. With one hand on the window sill, I pulled the window shut. I started my hasty retreat back down the trellis. Half way down my foot slipped on the vines and I fell to the earth. There was a jarring sensation and the pain that exploded upon impact. I laid there for a minute dazed. After I recovered, I picked myself and walked home in the darkness, praying that my plan had worked.
“He’s fine. They’re calling it a miracle. He was close to death and they said it was like God himself pulled him back from the brink.
I felt glad inside. I felt powerful in that I had a hand in the saving of my father’s life. I wondered if Miss Viela felt like this. I wondered what it would be like to feel this way all of the time.
“I have something for you,” she said. She handed me a small black bag and walked into the house, humming to herself.
I waited until she went into the house to open the bag. Inside was my gris gris and a note. I pulled it out and it said, “Thank you. Love, Daddy.” As I went to put the note back in the bag, I felt a small object in the bottom of the bag. I reached in and pulled out a small silver ring with a black stone. It glistened in the sunlight. I placed the ring on my hand and sat down on the porch hugging myself. I had so many emotions running through me, I felt like I would explode. I had made a change and it had made all the difference.
“I want to learn more,” I said. And my training began.
